He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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