I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
