Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it glows. i had to have it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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