even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize