Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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