so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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