ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
