i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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