can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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