No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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