why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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