He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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