If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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