You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
wow bdsm is so cute
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
