i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
