I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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