Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
