What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize