I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
