She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
