not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
