we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
