I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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