I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Pants are for mortals
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
