Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize