drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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