If i come over, it means nothing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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