He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
