I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
