No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
