I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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