This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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