My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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