We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
