I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
