I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
