One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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