his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
