it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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