I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I still have a little drunk in my system
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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