you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
