I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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