I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
