I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
