one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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