Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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