I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
