Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
