I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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