Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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