New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sorry my hands just texted you
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
