trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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