I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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