oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
