God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
