accomplished twins. life is a go
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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