and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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