The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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