shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
