but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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