To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
