yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
