I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize