Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
