fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
