Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
someone owes me an orgasm
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
