and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
