We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
