Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
