You're my little dorito
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
