went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
