let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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