apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
