Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
