Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
