she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
