So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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