i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
