does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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